While we may not be as tight-knit as my high school friend group yet, we still have three and a half more years to get there. About a month into my first semester, I embarked on a trip to the farmer’s market in downtown Claremont with another group of random people, and ended up meeting two of my best friends. I called my mom far too many times, explaining among sobs why I was destined to never find “my people.” Ultimately, this didn’t last. I spent a little too much time alone, alternating between studying and working out and watching Netflix. Instead, I made awkward small-talk in uncomfortable dining halls with people I didn’t especially like. In reality, I did meet some awesome people at orientation, but no one that I completely clicked with. We would bond during orientation and be inseparable until graduation, switching off between fun nights at parties and more studious ones in our special library study spot. While I was part of a wonderful friend group in high school, I imagined that my college friends would be even tighter. I also had expectations for friendships in college. The rest of the room is definitely not the aesthetically-pleasing, spacious dream I had, but I’m still able to look out of my window into a beautiful courtyard every morning.
Today, that little wall is the best part of my room. With that out the door, I was left to put sheets on my plastic twin-size mattress and curate a wall of my favorite photos and artwork. Meanwhile, my two roommates had no interest in cultivating a hygge-inspired space.
The RAs made it clear that the safety protocol strictly prohibited the use of string lights and candles that I wanted to line on my windowsill. For instance, when I entered my dorm room on that first day of orientation, the linoleum flooring, cinderblock walls, and fluorescent lighting crushed my Pinterest board dreams. In my first few weeks at college, the toxic expectations that had clouded my head since discovering my acceptance last December were restricting me from enjoying experiences outside of the perfect world I had created. My dorm was not as Pinterest-worthy as I envisioned, at times I felt like I didn’t have any friends, and, let’s face it, I did not magically become a perfect student. Sitting here, as I reflect upon my first semester at Scripps College in Claremont, California, I’m realizing that none of my expectations were truly met. I had an idea of what my dorm would look like, who my friends would be, and how diligent of a student I would suddenly become. As someone who enjoys planning and was very ready to leave home, I had my entire college experience mapped out in my head. Going into college, I had a lot of expectations.
0 kommentar(er)
